My concept of self-efficacy has been drained. It is like those test tubes from science lab. It seems like every semester I am at a certain level, maintaining a good idea of where I stand – then something occurs to bring me down past the halfway mark and I start thinking, ‘is this really for me?’

I read about people who find themselves in college. I’m in my second year of grad school and this person is nowhere to be found. I don’t know where I fit in, I feel useless and I honestly think I am  not good enough to be in this program, write a thesis and find a good job.

Oddly enough, this is my last semester of classes.




fuck you

No, wordpress I do not want to say hello to the world. In fact, let us just start off with a nice little ‘fuck you’ while we are trying to get things off on the correct foot.

This is my random blog of rambling about me, encounters, thoughts, premonitions, and musings of a general type.

I am

  • egotistic
  • self diagnosed Münchausen syndrome
  • social smoker
  • closet alcoholic
  • Grad student at some prestigious state university (no doubt)
  • in a (fucking) long term relationship
  • artist
  • writer
  • musician
  • photographer
  • gossip
  • social maneuver expert

and a shit load of other things…

While this might all sound pretentious and ill-seeking, I hope that even one person finds my musings generally hopeful. So far I have tricked the masses into thinking I am completely ‘normal’ and someday you will too.


ps: i meant it, fuck you